Surely there are some people around you who can speak in front of many people with full confidence, give beautiful presentations in front of many colleagues in the office, and participate in various social volunteer organizations and lead them. Six Pillars of Self Esteem will help you to grow.
Again, there are some people around you who cannot handle even small situations. So where is the real problem? The underlying cause of this is a lack of self-esteem.
Some people feel worthy of those situations. Conversely, some people consider themselves unworthy. I can’t. It is not possible for me. They have such a mentality.
So, how can one improve one’s worth, that is, self-esteem? Today I will share these from the famous and best-selling book, ‘Six Pillars of Self Esteem’. The book is written by Nathaniel Brande, the guru of self-esteem.
First Pillar: Conscious Living Practice
When we sit down to study, we think about sports. And when we go to play, we may think about something else. Or we watch funny videos while eating. That is, we do not pay attention to any work.
How will we achieve our goals if we don’t focus on a specific task? If we unconsciously build our daily habits like this, how will we focus on a task? As a result, our self-confidence or self-esteem will automatically decrease.
So the first step to increasing self-confidence is to focus completely on the work we are thinking of doing at the moment. This can be eating, watching television, spending time with friends, etc.
One must always practice paying full attention to the ongoing work.
2nd Pillar: Self-Acceptance Practice
Suppose a person is black by birth. If he always compares himself with a fair-skinned person, where will his self-esteem go?
Again, if someone is very fat, even though he has the option to lose weight by exercising and dieting, he still says,” I am fine as I am. Then what will his self-esteem be?
We have to accept things that cannot be changed. Rather, focus on reforming the things that you can change. At the same time, we have to gain knowledge about changeable and unchangeable things.
Self-acceptance practice means we have two categories in our life. Number 1, which we can not change. Such as: our body shape, body color, people’s thoughts about us etc.
Number 2, which we can change if we want. Such as: weight, thinking ability, thinking process, bad habits etc. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you always accept everything and stay at home.
Self-acceptance means, first, accepting your current state as it is. Then think about what things are happening to you. You have the power to change. Then start practicing changing those things.
Third Pillar: Self-Responsibility Practice
If my parents had supported me, I could have fulfilled my dreams. If the exam questions were a little easier, I would definitely have gotten a good result.
We often hear such excuses from different people. Actually, they belong to the category of people who always blame others. They create a story of their own failures and claim to be victims.
They expect someone else to come and sympathize with them and rescue them from this situation. We all know that no such person comes forward to help them.
Then where will their self-esteem go? On the other hand, those who take responsibility for their own failures, and when faced with any problem, start looking for answers themselves.
What can I do to make this successful? That is, those who don’t waste time blaming but focus more on solutions, what their self-esteem is like! One thing is true.
The responsibility of changing your life is solely yours. Therefore, stop blaming and take responsibility for your own life.
Fourth Pillar: Self-Assertiveness Practice
Suppose you and a friend of yours go out every day. Every day your friend borrows money from you. In this way, he has borrowed a lot of money from you.
But your friend is not paying you back. Fearing that the friendship will be ruined, you are not asking your friend for the money back. You are keeping your mouth shut.
Which shows your passive attitude. Again, if you don’t do this, adopt another method, such as: abusing your friend and asking for the money back. Even if the friendship is ruined, you don’t care.
This shows your aggressive attitude. In reality, neither of these two types of behavior is correct. It is not right to remain silent, fearing that friendship will be ruined, nor is it right to collect money by getting angry.
Now the question is, which method should I adopt? In this case, what you have to say is, “Friend, you have already borrowed a lot of money from me. I also need money.
I am also in a financial crisis. “If you don’t pay me back, I won’t be able to lend you any more money.” This reflects an assertive attitude.
Assertive means that you value and respect the opinions of others. At the same time, you are confident about your own opinions and decisions.
Fifth Pillar: ‘Living Purposefully’ Practice
There are two types of life. One is to spend life, and the other is to enjoy life. Having a clear purpose is essential to truly enjoy life. There is a person who has no big purpose in life.
He works 8 hours a day. But he does a job that he doesn’t like. He comes home at night, eats, watches television for a while, and falls asleep.
What will be the self-esteem of such a person?On the other hand, there is another person who has a big purpose in life.
He wants to be remembered through his work. He wants to do something that makes this world a little more livable than before. Then what will be the self-esteem of such a person?
This person will be able to enjoy his life with passion. How will you gather confidence if you don’t have passion in your life?Passion comes from purpose.
This purpose will be bigger than yours. For example, Nelson Mandela’s purpose was the liberation and equal rights of black people. That was bigger than Mandela’s life.
That’s why you saw how confident Mandela looked when he was released from jail and became the President of Africa!
You have to find such a purpose within yourself, which will always encourage you to be confident.
Sixth Pillar: Personal Integrity Practice
The only simple sentence of this practice is, do what is right. Right doesn’t just mean right for you. Rather, do what is right for ordinary people. Don’t lie to yourself.
If a father tells his son, smoking is bad. Never do this. But that father smokes himself. Again, if someone preaches to others that it is not right to be addicted to social media.
But he himself is addicted to social media all day long. That is, the person who says one thing but does another. Then what will his self-esteem be?
We do these things unconsciously. But we have to practice integrity consciously. Only then can it be corrected. I hope you too will start working from today to achieve self-esteem. May your journey be auspicious.
