Happiness isn’t about having a perfect life or avoiding every problem. It’s about finding small moments of joy, appreciating what you have, and learning to enjoy the present. Discover simple ways to build a happier life every day.
When we were children, we had more joy. But as we grew older, our joy began to decrease and our sorrows began to increase. But why does this happen? We never think about it.
Although we think, we don’t do it deeply. Today, you and I will find out the reason for this and discuss the solution. So let’s get started.
When you were very young, you only needed your mother to be happy. But as you grew older, you needed some friends along with your mother.
After a little more age, along with mother and friends, you need a girlfriend or boyfriend. As age increased further, you needed a good job, a good car, a good house. As time passed, new conditions began to be added to be happy.
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As a result, the more conditions were added, the less happiness decreased and sorrow increased. So, one thing is clear: that we were very happy in our childhood. Because our expectations in life were very low.
In our childhood, we were happy only with our mother. Then we needed friends. Then, as we grew older, our expectations in life increased and happiness decreased.
So, if we make an equation of expectation and happiness, it can be like this: expectation ~ 1/happiness.
This can also be compared to a balance. On one side, there is expectation and, on the other hand, there is happiness.
That is, the more your expectations increase, the more happiness decreases. Again, the fewer expectations, the more happiness increases. Expectations can be divided into two parts.
The first is external expectation and the second is spiritual expectation. External expectations mean your expectations from someone else.
For example: your office boss should treat you well, your girlfriend or boyfriend should love you very much, or everyone in your neighborhood should respect you very much, etc. These are all external expectations.
These are actually worthless and in many cases harmful. Because you can’t make your boyfriend or girlfriend love you very much. You can’t make the office boss treat you well.
Rather, these expectations can have a worse effect. Suppose you are participating in a singing competition. You want everyone to praise your song a lot, and you want to get first place in the competition.
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But another person has also participated in the competition like you. He has no expectations. It doesn’t matter to him whether he is first or last. He just wants to sing beautifully.
What do you think? Who among you will be able to perform the song better? Fear is created by expectation. As a result, it destroys joy.
The reason for this fear is that you are trying to control something that is not actually under your control. What do you think? If you do all the work properly, will your boss stop behaving badly?
It’s your boss’s wish. If he thinks he should stop behaving badly towards you, then it’s his wish.
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It’s foolish to expect this. Because, through this, you are increasing the amount of expectation on the scale. As a result, your happiness automatically decreases.
Now, the second type of expectation is spiritual expectation. For example: in the next 1 month, I will lose or gain 10 kg. In the next month, I will wake up every day at dawn, etc.
It is called spiritual expectation because these expectations should be under your own control.
Because we have lost control over our expectations of ourselves.We cannot instruct our body and mind and make them work as we wish.
If we could, we would be able to live at least 90% of our lives in an orderly manner and there would be less sorrow.
Because, if you had the option to create joy and sorrow, what would you do? Of course, you would choose joy.
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What happens to you also does not happen as you wish. Because you yourself have lost control over your body and mind. You may have set a target that you have to study for 4 hours every day from tomorrow.
But you can’t do that. So, if you had control over your body and mind, you could do this. We cannot take control over ourselves. But we want to keep others’ minds under our control! How is this possible?
Our desires are really very strange! So both external and spiritual expectations take away happiness for us. Maybe every day, you think, tomorrow you will wake up at dawn and run for 1 hour.
But you wake up at 10 in the morning and feel very remorseful. So, shouldn’t there be expectations in life? How will we achieve prosperity in life if there are no expectations?
But the interesting thing is, this is a popular misconception. That is, to be successful in life, you have to dream big. There are people who have no expectations of life.
But they have reached the pinnacle of success. So expectations should be in line with reality.
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At the beginning, external expectations should not be made. Because these never bring anything good. Rather, they are harmful.
Spiritual expectations will be beneficial for you if you can control your body and mind and do things as you wish. Otherwise, it is also harmful.
So, at the beginning, the scale of external expectations should be kept light. As a result, happiness will also increase.
Reduce the amount of external expectations as much as possible so that the scale of happiness is heavy.
Then, if it is not possible to bring it down to zero, then keep spiritual expectations to such an amount that they can be fulfilled.
For example: not 10 kg in one month, but 1 kg of weight, I will wake up at 9 am instead of 10 am tomorrow, etc. So that the scale of happiness can always be kept heavy.
Now, it will completely depend on you whether you will have expectations or not.
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Just remember this, by adding new expectations, you are reducing the amount of happiness.
